Hey everyone,
Last night I laid in bed with my
mind restless and full of ideas, making sleep an impossibility. I
usually welcome ideas, just not at one o' clock in the morning. My mind was centered
on one thing that everyone seems to be obsessing over in our culture: love. As a
woman who was once a hormonal teenager, I have been caught up in the drama
of pining after someone that I claimed to "love." Love is extremely
complicated as most people know, and cannot be easily defined. I tried to come
up with a definition for myself, but decided to cop out last night and just ask my husband Jason about it.
I wish I could remember exactly what he said, but it basically came down to
this, "Love means wanting to help and protect someone from harm. It means
that your souls have a connection and that you would do anything for them that
is good." He said it in a much more eloquent manner than I just did; so
well in fact that I admit I am surprised.
To this definition I add that love
means doing what is best for someone even if they become angry of upset with
you for doing it. I also add the remarks of a professor of mine. He read in the
work of a general authority, whose name escapes me, that there are two
different kinds of love: sentiment and real love. Sentiment claims love but
does not actually practice love. Sentimental love is the mother who lets her
children beat up other children at school, denies the child is capable of doing
it, and allows the same child indulgences which are ultimately harmful.
Sentiment is selfishness disguised as love. Sentiment says,
"I am too tired/proud to
give you what you need so I will do what is easiest for me or makes everyone
think I love you when really, I love myself.
Real love on the other hand is the
mother who actually engages in parenting, gives out fair punishments, most
likely will have to deal with tedious tantrums, and teaches a child to be a
good person rather than a selfish one. Real love says,
"I love you enough to let you know that what your doing is wrong and you need to stop. I will be here to help you as best I can but you cannot treat me or others this way. I want you to be truly happy and successful, not momentary entertained. Even though I am frustrated with you, I will not spitefully hurt you but do what is best for you."
Also I do not agree with the famous quote from the 1970's hit Love Story when it claims, "Love means never having to say you're sorry." What? What kind of nonsense is this? I often make mistakes and saying sorry to those I love and care about is needed in order to communicate with them that I regret my words or actions. I believe saying you are sorry shows love and concern for one who may feel slighted or hurt. Silly 1970's hippies!
From thinking over the definitions
above I realized a few things:
1) There are people who claim to
love me but who do not love me at all.
2) There are people who never
claimed to love me, but who show me love constantly.
3) 1 makes me sad.
4) 3 makes me feel blessed.
5) I need to become more a more
loving person.
Not the most eloquent summary, my
apologies. The world around us most definitely does not teach us to love. We
learn that in order to be the best it takes destroying the competition or
losing ourselves in our work/ school/ fitness that we do not have time to truly
love others. We separate ourselves into different groups in order to
distinguish how we may be better or superior to others. We do not know how to
work for each other anymore, we definitely know how to work for ourselves
though. Despite the selfishness and greed, I also see that
there are still good people who really do practice loving each other. I see in
in people in my ward, in my community, in my family, and always in my
husband Jason. He is so kind and so good; though I am sure he will just blush
and get embarrassed if I say that.
WARNING I AM ABOUT TO GET A LITTLE
SAPPY: When I was growing up, I was convinced that love was stupid and it was
better to have a career than a marriage. I saw how my family tore itself apart
and I have watched my parents hate each other for most of my life. I do
not talk about these things to try and get sympathy or attention, but to let
you know how very much I value my marriage. It is nothing like what my parents
had, and everything I could ever wish for. We are honest to goodness happy. I
have someone I can talk to about anything, who listens, and who will not use
what I tell him to hurt me. He also lets me know when I might have done something
wrong allowing me to see from a different perspective. It' so awesome! Okay sappiness over.
I am completely convinced that,
"what the world needs now is love sweet love." Hopefully I can learn
with the world to be a little more loving, when it is not natural, and
loving others is difficult. As previously mentioned, I am LDS and so I find the
teachings of my church helpful in helping me to cultivate a loving attitude towards
others even if I fail sometimes. In Moroni 7: 45-48 I find perhaps the best
definition of love described and the best means of obtaining it given:
45 And acharity suffereth long, and is bkind, and cenvieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not
her own, is not easily dprovoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in
iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things,
hopeth all things, endureth all things.
46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not
charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto
charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—
47 But acharity is the pure blove of Christ, and it endureth cforever; and whoso is found possessed of it at
the last day, it shall be well with him.
48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, apray unto the Father with all the energy of
heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all
who are true bfollowers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may
become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall cbe like him, for we shall see him as he is; that
we may have this hope; that we may be dpurified even as he is pure. Amen.
Hoping you are all well,
Liz
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